01/01/2005
It happened last night, to be more accurate, it happened this morning around 4a.m. I was surprised he still had so much energy left on making love after a long night of party. It was a lot of kisses and hugs as if we could not get enough of each other.
It has been a long time for him, six years. I could not imaging no sex for six years. It was fast he came, all over me and my shirt. Then he went to sleep immediately after that. He started snoring.
Then morning came, I woke up. I kept hugging and kissing him. At one point, I climbed on top of him, but he got rid of me. He just wanted some sleep. I don’t think he is in love with me b/c he didn’t hug me after making love and he didn’t hug me back in the morning. He just wanted some sleep.
今晨镜头回放：
我：你昨晚好快啊 !
他：喝了酒，又那么晚了 —
我：我得走了，我今天要加班 —
他：出去时把小狗带到阳台上去 —
我： OK 。你好好在家干家务活，我挣钱去了。
他： ( 瞪眼，拍我的屁股 ) Get out of here, you 。
有一点失落。
昨晚，做爱之前。的确是有很多 KISSES 和 HUGS ，但说不清他是主动的，还是被动的，更像是 REFLECTIVE ，反射性的，我 HUG 过去，他 HUG 回来，就像足球踢到了墙上，自然会弹回来一样。
昨晚，做爱之后。没有 KISSES ，没有 HUGS ，他倒头就睡，鼾声随之而起。
今晨，很多 KISSES ， HUGS ，不过都是我给他的，他没有回应。
心神不定。下楼梯的时候，摔坐在楼梯上，弄出很大声响。
他：摔跤了？
我：嗯。
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